I recommend 2x speed if you're able to understand me still. 0:00 laying down, vertigo, 6:23am haven't slept, neuroses 1:29 obsessive thought loop transition / detransition, affirmative model, truth about gender therapists 5:28 transitioned for dysphoria, vitiligo / autoimmune, hairy, laser hair removal 9:15 some thoughts of mine, not showering, amazon groceries, not detransitioning, become a monk 19:51 doubting transition, suffering, r/detrans, MtFtM, having kids, adoption 30:33 was going to marry someone, bad relationship, detransition 40:41 feelin' good, easily influenced on computer, wearing girl's clothes in high school, gay 45:16 i guess i don't wanna detrans, gender, clothes, family connections & personalities, jealousy 1:03:50 i love being trans, fertility, hallucinations, relationships, bpd 1:19:50 betrayal and bpd, ramble, gay ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCqs0j76Afs

... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqxMh5kf4VA