From my very childhood I have seen my father strongly devoted to god. And he always tried his best to make me and my brother just like him. He used to wake up before the sunrise and also make us to do so. always wanted us to be vegetarian. and lots of other things which was totally disgusting for us, specially for me. i was forced to join the prayer in dawn and in the evening. so in my childhood days my perception about god, more precisely kulguru shri shri anakul chandra thakur was not that much catchy. i dont know if anyone can make out childrens forcefully to do or not to do something. atleast i was never like that kind of kid. i was more interested in those subjects in which i was not allowed, and was less bothered about those where i was forced.
so frankly speaking, as far i can remember, my fathers strict rules and regulations for me to achieving the light of prime knowledge was flop. my first idea about god and almighty was totally dull.
long time passed and dont know why suddenly i am in deep love with all those past activities. loving this moments living with god and within. not just the same way, but yes i am very much connected to god. a special feeling is there in the deep soul. getting so much peace while meditating. not have eaten any flesh and not have taken any toxin for the last couple of months. and lots of other things to achieve what i have always dreamed for, the salvation. and honestly, not facing any difficulties to do so. trust me, the feeling is just awesome. i dont have any plans to be a preacher or a sadhu, i am just living in this passing moments with full of joy.
its always your conscience which can drive you in the path of truth. i dont know i am right or wrong. one thing i can confirm is, i am with the truth. it just happens when the moral sense knocks on your forbidden door. for a sinner like me, life is like a deep dark sea, and each time the waves crashed down on the breathes, it makes you more stronger. shri shri thakur only said, "first of all you need to burn your fear; when you are bright and bold,only that point of time you have the permission to enter in the world of divine purity."
but the sad thing is after shaving my head, taking a bath in ganga, confessing to the mother there, leaving all kinds of dirt and craps from the soul i still think i am still connected with this material world. still missing people, still worried for them, still with an absent mind go back to the memories. may be its not always what we choose but what he allows us to choose.
anyways thats not a big deal. actually thats the rule of nature. thats how everything is on its own way. thats how the whole earth and the stars and the galaxy is moving. thats time actualy. time is the thing, being and within. what is important is to catch the flow. well, thats what we all are doing. isn't it?
so i am also doing it in my own way. i thought i will march on che's footstep and one day will bring the revolution. so i thought will make some documentaries on chronic social issues. my first plan was to shoot the unhygienic conditions of nrs hospital and the surroundings to explain the sad truth about the ill treatment of poor people. but boy you just cant shoot in public. when some people were stopping me to shoot, i felt like as i am holding a gun instead of a camera. after 66 years of independence, this is the definition of democracy i got. thanx to all the dhuti pajama poeple discussing about the growth of the country as mentioning the fact that yes, we have done it. telecommunication has got 100% fdi approval. congrats madafukers.
so not without barking here again i should concentrate on my topic. i got the same scenario when i went to shoot in a slam market of howrah. same things happened in deoghar as well. after wandering here and there when felt myself as a monkey and the camera as a banana all of a sudden i noticed a man with a sexaphone chanting hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare, hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare. i just cant explain how much peace of mind that moment was. he was a foreigner, came down long away from his home,family and country in search of getting the soul representation of his moral sense. thats attitude boy. attitude with strict principles. i was hoping to make an interview of him, but for some sad reasons couldn't make it. the man was a true genius, the way he performed the chant with the sexaphone was unbelievable.
so it hardly matters, in what way you are calling god or connecting with him; what only matter is you just need to let your soul free, free from all the material desires. and when you are desireless then you are a dear to god. thats what everyone is saying in the scriptures, whether its rishi aurobindo, vivekananda, anukul chandra, buddha or our most adorable krishna gopala.
i am not desireless but i wish to be so. time will decide. but for the moment, lets pray loud. lets play it in rock.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lD09YUne4cE